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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23656051">Keep Pelican Town Strange!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reddeaddoorbell/pseuds/Reddeaddoorbell'>Reddeaddoorbell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stardew Valley (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adventure &amp; Romance, Angst (sometimes implied sometimes not), Awkward Flirting, Drabble Collection, Everyone in Pelican Town has one braincell, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, Misadventures, No one knows who has it, Strong Friendships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:00:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23656051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reddeaddoorbell/pseuds/Reddeaddoorbell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If you look on a map, you'd barely be able to make out Pelican Town and probably wouldn't think much of it. It's some sleepy little town that only sees its stride during tourist season, if at all.<br/>But if you asked the townspeople what Pelican Town was...well....you might want to sit down. They tend to gossip a lot. And there's a wizard sometimes. </p><p>(series of drabble surrounding our favorite town and why Pelican Town's just flat-out strange)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Who the Fuck Is Born with Purple Hair?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been playing a lot of Stardew or Animal Crossing during this quarantine, and as a result, a lot of ideas are in mind. And Abigail's the only bachelorette I didn't romance in the game, so I felt obligated to try and give her first dibs here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's a hypothetical question Sebastian brings up one hot summer afternoon, as he, Abigail, and Sam chose a shady spot by the river to hang out for the day.</p><p>Their quest campaign had ended on a bittersweet note (Abigail's dwarf sacrificed is life so that Sam's ranger and Sebastian's wizard could live and get married off by a dragon who went to a secretive academy to become a minister, it was a whole plotline), and the smell of rotten pizza and laundry was beginning to overwhelm them so much sitting outside sounded so much better. </p><p>It was another sweat-inducing day, not a cloud in the sky offering a bit of mercy to Pelican Town below, and the three of them were the only ones brave or stupid enough to be out in it. Abigail insisted on sitting in the shade though, leaning back against the bark of the tree and taking up most of it for herself while Sam and Seb struggled to stay concealed as best as they could. Jokes were tossed on how preppy and needy Abigail acted, how Sam's spikey hair wilted in the heat, and how pale Seb's leg looked now that he actually wore something that didn't go beyond the ankle. And it was here that he realized they never addressed this one issue about their friend. </p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?" Abi said, her tone of voice bored but an eyebrow was raised to show that she was still listening. </p><p>Moving closer to her (because the sun had been beaming down as his calf for a while now and it was starting to get grilled), he emphasized by hitting a strand of hair that was loose from her ponytail. "This. It's purple."</p><p>"Oh thank god, Seb! All that time in the basement hasn't hurt your corneas!"</p><p>"Sam, that's amazing you know what 'corneas' are, but what does that have to do with my hair color?"</p><p>"Hurting your corneas makes you colorblind-"</p><p>"Eyes. Just say 'eyes', oh my god." Seb couldn't help but feel the conversation was quickly going away from him when, in fact, this was important. "Your hair is purple."</p><p>"As we've established, yes."</p><p>"<em>Why, </em>though?"</p><p>Sam chimed in again before Seb could stop him. "'<em>Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why their hair's unnatural and strange</em>,'"</p><p>Abigail's full attention was on the two of them now that Sam had even agreed with it. "What are you two <em>talking</em> about? What's so unnatural and strange about my fucking hair color?"</p><p>"It makes literally no sense," Seb continued, leaning back in an attempt to put his hair up into a bun and cursing when uneven strands still escaped. "Your mom's hair is green and your dad's hair is brown. I suck at art, but those colors don't make purple."</p><p>Trying to go back to being unfazed, Abigail replied, "Uh, she dyes her hair, first off. Second off......"</p><p>"...."</p><p>"...."</p><p>"....??"</p><p>Not a fan of the long silence of the boys waiting for her to make a point, Abigail kicked her leg out to knock Sam out of the shade. "Second off, nothing! It's just how science works for me. I didn't know this wouldn't be an accepted thing with you guys,"</p><p>Seb was quick to backtrack-Abigial's sensitivity was boiling underneath the hot summer sun-and added, "Abi, come on. It's not that deep. I just...how can that be natural?"</p><p>Arms crossed, she retorted, "Your hair's black and your mom's a redhead, so is that<em>-," </em>an accusing finger flew up to point at Seb's head. "-really <em>your</em> natural hair color?"</p><p>"Maybe we should try to-"</p><p>"So help me, Seb, if you lay a finger on my hair or bring any sort of color other than purple or pink-<em>what it looks cool shut up</em>-I'll put a virus on your computer and send your bosses a copy of your <em>Harry Potter</em>fanfiction. <em>From</em> <em>eighth grade</em>. <em>That you dedicated to Ronnie Lawrence. And you read it at the school's talent show.</em>"</p><p>
  <em><strong>"WE MADE A BLOOD PACT TO NEVER SPEAK ABOUT</strong>-"</em>
</p><p>"Fuck this, we need an expert. PENNY!" Sam leaned back out into the sunlight and waved at a figure crossing the bridge to go into town, a book tucked neatly under her arm. The girl, orange hair put up in a bun and hidden underneath her sun hat that matched her bright yellow and white dress, gave a shy wave at them as Sam urged her to come over. "Wasn't that the one about Harry and Draco doing it in Dumbledoor's-"</p><p>"You <em>guys</em>-"</p><p>"Penny, dearest!" Sam loudly greeted her after Abigail gave him a nod of confirmation, Seb shrinking into the background as Penny looked down at the group. "We need a scientific expert and who better than Pelican Town's intellectually superior teacher?"</p><p>Penny blushed at that..or they thought she did. It was too hot to tell and someone as fair-skinned as her was probably racking up third-degree burns just standing there. "But what about Maru?"</p><p>"You're the only pretty little thing out here," Sam answered, causing her to shoot a concerned glance over to Seb and Abi, who both gave shrugs but gagged and pretended to stab themselves as soon as Sam and Penny weren't looking. </p><p>"Well, I'm happy to help, Sam. What do you need?"</p><p>"How do you make the color purple?"</p><p>It was obviously the last question Penny expected to hear, and maybe that was because it was a grown man asking it. "Well...purple's a secondary color, so that means two different colors had to be mixed together to make it. It's not like blue, for example, which is a..a primary color.." It was difficult to word it in a way that didn't sound like she was teaching kindergarteners, and Penny was clearly embarrassed the moment she realized it, but it went right over the boy's head. Not Abigail and Sebastian, though, who were both individually wondering if it was sanitary to try and drown themselves in the river. </p><p>Sam nodded along with the explanation, stifling a grin at an obviously more annoyed Abigail as he continued, "Right, right. So...it's not a 'natural' color, would you say?"</p><p>"Sam, man, this really isn't-"</p><p>"Seb, shut up. Teacher's talking." Sam held up a hand before giving a couple of enthusiastic nods to Penny. "Please continue."</p><p>She made a motion as if to sit on the ground in front of them but stopped herself short, rubbing her arm awkwardly as she continued, "I..It's unnatural, yeah. You can't get it without combining with the two specific colors..." a silent nod urged her to complete her thought, "blue and red,"</p><p>"So is it possible for two parents with different hair colors to combine and make purple?"</p><p>"Uh, not really, no. It's not that common-"</p><p>Sam clapped his hands together. "Boom! Point proved. Abigail's a freak. Thank you, Miss Penny."</p><p>"What?!" Her eyes became wide with alarm as her head shot back and forth between Abigail and Sam. "N-No! I would never...B-But I never meant imply-"</p><p>"It's cool, Penny," Abigail assured her,  trying to give something of a smile despite how tired she was of this stupid conversation. " Sorry we dragged you into it. The heat makes Sam short circuit, sometimes."</p><p>The trio waited for Penny to give another shy wave and hurry as far as possible from them before Abi and Seb attacked Sam. "What the hell was all that?" Seb asked in absolute astonishment. "You had better game when you asked Haley out after breaking her camera!"</p><p>"The fuck-What'd<em> I</em> do?" Sam defended himself from the onslaught of punches Abigail threw his way, two out of three of them actually hurting a bit.</p><p>"You turned it into an attempt to talk to Penny, you <em>anime-looking motherfucker</em>!" </p><p>"<em>Ohh</em>, says Mr. <em>Emo to the Extremo</em>! You can cry and post on all the forums you want but <em>My Chemical Romance</em> ain't coming back together!" Sam threw an empty Jojo Cola can at Seb's head. "We all know that's what you really do all day long! You probably mod a good chunk of them!</p><p>"I bet Penny gets turned on from the <em>Super Sayan</em> look it usually has. If you hurry, you can run home and gel it up before she goes back home!"</p><p>Admittedly, Abigail welcomed the exchange of insults because it meant the previous conversation was done. She'd never admit it, but her hair was a source of comfort for her. It'd taken her a long time to come to acceptance with it, ignoring her mom's more traditionally feminine suggestions for Abigail's own sense of style, but she had. She'd gotten it to the length she wanted, and the shine of the purple after a relaxing bath was a confidence boost for her. </p><p>Hell, she was willing to argue that hair concerns, maintaining its health and growth and all that was the one thing Abi and her mom had in common. What salons to go to, what shampoo and conditioner worked best, all that. The purple tone to Abi's was just the extra little quirk belonging to her and her alone. It never really occurred to her that it wasn't common. </p><p>She had unconsciously begun running fingers through her hair that she didn't notice until the arguing stopped around her. She shook her head to snap out of it. "Huh?"</p><p>"You went quiet. I was serenading Seb with a Marilyn Manson song and you just sat there. Did we break you?"</p><p>Another punch to the arm came in response as Abigail grunted and stood up, wiping sweat off her forehead. "Nah, Goku. Not broken, but I do have a need for ice cream. Let's see if Jockstrap over there still has some left,"</p><p>Seb snorted, lazily pushing himself up and following after Abigail. "You're such an asshole,"</p><p>"Don't blame me, that's a side effect of being born with unnaturally purple hair."</p><p>"Ab.."</p><p>"I know," A more affectionate punch on the arm came for Seb as Sam, rubbing his arm and muttering something about 'wannabe goth queen', got up to follow them. "No harm done. Can I trust you two to just ignore logic on this one, though? Being called a freak over and over <em>did </em>kinda bum me out."</p><p>"Do we ever use logic ever?"</p><p>"...fair." Abigail nodded slowly, another hand moving to mess with a strand of purple hair. "But just for my sake, let's ignore it. Unless I bring it up again."</p><p>"Got it!" Sam clapped his hands again, pretending he was closing a literal case. "Conversation over. Case <em>literally</em> closed, see? You liked that?"</p><p>"Clever. Thanks."</p><p>"But now, we gotta discuss this new farmer. Did you see <em>her muscles?"</em></p><p>Another conversation carried on, soon joined by Alex once they arrived at the stand, but she wasn't able to focus again.</p><p>Abigail wasn't about to say anything out loud, but a nagging feeling in the back of her mind said that the two boys brought up a solid argument. Purple was kinda weird, but there was no special birth story associated with her family, last time she checked. Was it drugs? Was she dropped on her head a certain degree and it damaged her hair follicles to the point they became a bruised shade of purple? Like when you get a black eye or bump your leg against the table when your Ouigi Board started acting weird and you didn't want to burn your house so you tried to exit? </p><p>The point, though, is that she never really knew purple wasn't <em>common</em>. Well, she did-she liked things different and strange-but not to the degree people who take notice and start asking those sorts of questions. The questions she was now asking herself. Like: If she <em>didn't</em> get it from her parents, then where'd it come from? She had a theory, but...Abigail liked mysteries, anyway. This was just another mystery. Mystery built character! And solving the mystery may destroy her parents' <em>marriage</em>, so. No. Abigail could live with the stares, the questions from her friends, and even her mother's insistence that she do something different with her hair, clothes, all of it. She knew at the end of the day, they'd all thank her for protecting them from absolute fallout and confusion. From absolute scandal and shame. </p><p><em>'God, lighten up!' </em>she thought, taking the cone from Alex's hand and forcing herself to join in on the conversation, which was about some stupid horror movie the boys liked. It was a lame one, some 60s monstrosity that didn't age well in terms of cinematography, acting, soundtrack, or gore. </p><p>Didn't help that the main antagonist, some vampire chick coated in white makeup and black skin-tight dress, had purple hair and was burned at the stake.</p><p>For being a freak. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Shane Needs a Parenting Book, Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Shane suffers a parenting crisis with Jas's big 3AM question</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm completely biased towards Shane, don't mind me (but also #letJascallShanedad2020)</p><p>Hey, I warned that school was gonna be a lot so updates are gonna be weird. But I appreciate the reads/kudos! Practice social distancing and wash your hands</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was a smart kid. Smarter than anyone really gave her credit for, and smart enough for Penny to constantly struggle giving hard homework for the kid to take home (and when she thought she did? Jas could pound it out in less than twenty minutes. Marnie’s words, not Shane’s, but he didn’t need to see it to believe it). It made him proud that she was excelling and curious like that, like most kids should be. Never one to take ‘no’ for an answer once she breaks away from the shy mold built around her. </p><p>Jas sure as hell wasn’t shy around Shane, thankfully. </p><p>But here was a new one: his little goddaughter walking him up at asscrack o’clock when she should have been long asleep already. Apparently, Jas decided she <em>must </em>know this answer right away. Shane’s not even sure he heard the girl right when he felt her hesitantly poke his chest and cheek repeatedly to wake him up, the words sounding far away until he forced himself to focus hard enough to listen. </p><p>And what he heard...</p><p>"<em> ...what? </em>"</p><p>"Where do babies come from?" His goddaughter whispered matter-of-factly, clearly confused about how Shane could have missed it the first time. She made sure to emphasize every word, though, while peering into the darkness of Shane's bedroom to try and get a good look at him. The only way she could even see in was through the moonlight outside, Shane forgetting to close the curtains and drown himself in darkness like he usually did. </p><p>It meant he now had to actively try not to look, sound, or act annoyed at her. It would shut her down for days, and it would eat him up inside to see her closed off and...so much like him. </p><p>
  <b> <em>That's why they were staying at Marnie's, to begin with. So she wouldn't end up like him. </em> </b>
</p><p>"..Sweetheart..it's way past your bedtime, isn't it? You know how Aunt Marnie is when you're up late." He pushed himself to sit up though, scooting so that the kid could hop up on the bed and sit. “And how <em>you </em>are when you don’t sleep. Like a zombie from the video games,”</p><p>She crossed her arms, and even though it was dark she was clearly pouting. “<em>No, I don’t! </em>But I gotta know, Uncle Shane!  It’s a matter of life or death!”</p><p>
  <b> <em>She is your goddaughter and you adore her, Shane. She is your goddaughter and you will keep yourself in check. If she woke you up to lasso the moon, you damn well better get up to grab the rope and make an attempt.</em> </b>
</p><p>“That’s pretty intense, Jas,” He yawned, and he felt his eyelids begin to close slowly until he felt someone move to lay on top of him and begin poking his cheek again. “But couldn’t you ask Aunt Marnie in the morning? She’s so much smarter than I am,”</p><p>“You’re smart too, though! You help me whenever I’m stuck with homework and Aunt Marnie doesn’t know! And you know all the chickens' names!” Jas insisted, and even if he was tired it did kinda warm his heart she viewed him like that. No matter what he thought of himself every time he rolled out of bed, at least there was some crazy little girl out there certain her deadbeat godfather was a modern-day Socrates. “And Aunt Marnie is a scary monster before five in the morning.”</p><p>“....what time is it now?”</p><p>“I think it’s three?”</p><p>“What are you doing thinking about where babies come from at three in the morning?”</p><p>He felt Jas climb off of him in an attempt to look for something, an accidental elbow hitting his side just hard enough that he jolted fully awake with a grunt. Sick of the darkness though, he reached across to turn on the light in his bedroom, giving a tired chuckle when Jas pretended to hiss like a vampire in response. </p><p>“What are you looking-” A picture was shoved into his hands, a small little thing that showed its age around the borders where fingerprints and smudge marks were. The center of the pic was some cave-looking thing, an outline of something in the middle curled up perfectly as ‘<em> It’s A Girlie! &lt;3’ </em>were written in neat handwriting at the top. </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hey dumbass, it’s an ultrasound pic of Jas.</em> </b>
</p><p>He forgot she even had it-probably Marnie’s doing somehow-but just holding it in his hands, he remembered the first day he saw it. Jackson couldn’t sit still talking about what a wonder his daughter was going to be while Rebecca and Shane just watched in amusement. A few weeks later, they had asked Shane to actively be a part of the family as ‘godfather’ because “<em> I’m a maniac and Becca’s a know-it-all, and we’re gonna have a kid with both those traits? This kid’s gonna be legendary </em>.”</p><p>Fuck, it was so cruel they couldn’t see how right Jackson was. </p><p>Shane didn’t say anything at first, so the girl answered his question. “Aunt Marnie showed it to me and I brought it to school for show-and-tell,” she explained, her expression somber and yet curious. “I wanted to show what I looked like, and what my mom’s handwriting looked like, and Vincent asked where babies come from and I said I didn’t know and Miss Penny said <em> she </em>didn’t know and to ask you or Aunt Marnie and I forgot to ask Aunt Marnie because she was in the market all day with Mayor Lewis and so I wanted to ask you because you’re awake at night at lot!”</p><p><b><em>Did she even breathe during that whole sentence?</em></b>  “Uh-huh,” Shane rubbed his face slowly, trying not to let too many memories beat him like a punching bag. But he did feel the familiar urge to drink now, as a way to run from the realization at how such a tiny photo meant so much to him. It was a relic from a different time, with a different Shane holding it down with tears in his eyes because he was gonna be the best uncle to this little girl. </p><p>Being this little girl’s caretaker never crossed his mind back then. At all. </p><p>“So...you wanna know where babies come from?” He said, snapping out of his mindset, or trying to. It didn’t help that he now felt weirdly emotional that this tiny little baby was sitting full-grown right next to him, hanging onto any word she could get from her uncle. “Well...I guess...it starts when…”</p><p>
  <b> <em>He couldn’t pull a fast one on her, damn it! The kid was way too damn smart for any ‘a stork brings them down to their families’ or ‘they grow out of the ground and they’re nonrefundable’. </em> </b>
</p><p>Jas picked up the hesitation, the observant little nugget she was, and leaned against him. “What about where I come from? Can I ask where I come from?”</p><p>
  <b> <em>Oh, Jas. Not tonight. Don’t ask questions about your parents tonight.</em> </b>
</p><p>“Your mom and dad-”</p><p>“Mom’s handwriting, right?” She pointed above the ultrasound picture, her tiny finger tracing over the cursive. “It’s pretty.”</p><p>“Y-Yeah.” He cleared his throat, that response sounding thick with emotion and meaning Shane was one hair short of a full-blown breakdown. His heart ached because it should be them having this talk with her! She should have hit Jackson’s face to ask this question, and that weirdo would give her some answer that somehow made sense and sounded so silly Jas would leave only with more questions but at least she knew her daddy loved her and didn’t get annoyed at being up so early. Rebecca would wake up to their laughter and chime in, since she was the expert on the procedure, and insist that Jas was born out of love and it wouldn’t sound corny because Rebecca never made anything sound corny or stupid. She was a perfect storm of sarcasm and realism mixed in with the warmth and wisdom way beyond her years. They both were perfect. So, so perfect. </p><p>Everything Shane <em>wasn’t</em>. He felt ashamed to steal this important parenting moment from them. It was like looting the dead body of your own brother and running off into the night. </p><p>“You..your parents...loved each other a lot,” he let out a chuckle at how stupid this was sounding already, “And when they loved each other, it meant they did stuff together,”</p><p>Jas’s hand came up to cover her mouth, a few giggles escaping before she whispered, “Like kissing?”</p><p>Oh god, she was too much for Shane’s heart, which was already swelling and hurting. “<em>Exactly.” </em>He gave a mischievous grin. “And spreading their cooties on each other and everything.”</p><p>She was old enough not to be grossed out by ‘cooties’ but young enough to be grossed out by the thought of kissing. “Are babies made from cooties?!”</p><p>A part of Shane wanted to say ‘yes’ and then never bring up the subject again, but Jas was smart, damn it. Even the way she phrased her question made it clear she was skeptical. “No,” he still grinned at her, because it would be hilarious if that were the case. “But, uh...man, Jas. This is a really tricky question.” <em><strong>Too tricky for three in the morning Shane to handle. She was just lucky Gus was sick and closed the bar early enough that Shane barely felt a buzz.</strong></em></p><p>“They loved each other?”</p><p>“<em>So much, </em>” There his voice goes, and this time he felt Jas look up from the picture to him. He took a few seconds to calm down. “So much, kid. And sometimes, when two people love each other a lot,  they want to start a family.” </p><p>“Which is me? They wanted me?”</p><p>“That’s right,” He scooped one arm around Jas to pull her to sit on his lap, his leg bouncing a bit from the anxiety. “So they decided one day to try to make a baby,”</p><p>“How, though?”</p><p>Ah, the real meat of the question now. “Well...there’s a lot of kissing involved.” </p><p>She recoiled a bit. “<em>Really? </em>”</p><p><em> “Really.” </em>He made the same disgusted face she did. “Kinda weird, huh?”</p><p>She nodded in agreement, sticking out her tongue in displeasure but let Shane continue (much to his chagrin). “So your mom and dad did a lot of….well, <em> that, </em> before something…” <b> <em>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fill in the blank here! FILL IN THE BLANK HERE! </em> </b>“..went into your momma.”</p><p>“What did?”</p><p><b> <em>RIP IT OFF LIKE A BANDAID, YOU IDIOT! </em> </b>“A part of your daddy.” Maybe it was the tone of voice he used to say it or the phrasing itself, but Jas looked absolutely horrified. “N-Not like an arm or blood or something! But..you see..to make a baby, something in your dad’s body had to mix with your mom’s,”</p><p>That settled her down. Kinda. “Okay…”</p><p>“And so, once parts of your daddy and momma mixed together, it makes-”</p><p>“A baby?”</p><p>“...an embryo.” Insert another confused look from the goddaughter here. “It means the baby is beginning to form in the mom’s womb. But then that little embryo gets bigger and bigger until it’s that size,” he pointed at the ultrasound in Jas’ hand, “and then it keeps getting bigger until it’s ready to come out.”</p><p>“Does it hurt?”</p><p>“You know something, sweetpea? I have <em> no </em>idea”</p><p>She nodded slowly, running her fingers along the picture. “I hope I didn’t hurt her.”</p><p><b> <em>Yikes. </em> </b>How do you even respond to that? Shane didn’t even know if it did, as he was busy calling up people on Jackson’s behalf since he wanted to be in the delivery room. And Rebecca was too proud to admit she was afraid or in a severe amount of pain. To her, giving birth was probably equivalent bumping your hip against a desk. </p><p>“Your momma was the toughest lady in the whole wide world.” The words were uncomfortable, like a knife was dragged along his tongue and he was choking on the pain and bitterness that trickled down his throat because it wasn’t fair. Not to Jas, not to them, not to anyone. “Nothing could hurt her, and when she saw you all bundled up in her arms...she was-” <b> <em>She deserves to know more about her mother. She was only four when they died, and there’s no way she could remember as much as he did. </em></b></p><p>“-she said from that moment on, she was dedicated to you. That you were something in her life that was missing,”</p><p>
  <b> <em>Oh god, Shane. Stop the conversation now. You’re too sober to pour all this shit out.</em></b>
</p><p>“...yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah.” <b> <em>Come on, now. </em> </b>“And after you...you came to live with me...I realized what she meant by all that.”</p><p>Shane hated emotions and having to express them, but he wasn’t gonna be a dick to an orphaned little wonder like Jas. She needed to know that the love of her parents carried on through Shane, even if he was just plain awful at showing it. And it was true-Shane’s future looked bleak and empty and devoid of happiness but Jas’s was what kept him from tossing himself off of the cliff. </p><p>Fuck the validation of Pelican Town. At least his kid didn’t see him as a failure. Not yet.</p><p>Shane was certain Jas had other questions, specifically about the part of her dad that had to enter her mom and for that, Shane would absolutely need a drink. But instead of voicing anything else, Jas just leaned back against her godfather and hugged the picture close to her like it was a stuffed bear. The sight made his already shattered heart hurt something fierce. <b> <em>Would she flinch if he tried to hug her tightly to him and if he just flat out started crying? Would she realize how torn apart he was with everything just from a simple touch-</em> </b></p><p>“Can I sleep in here?”</p><p>It was enough to halt him from his self-pitying. And to answer that, Shane lifted up Jas into his arms, surprising her because she (and probably most people) didn’t know he had any strength in him, and tossed her onto the bed so she’d bounce up in the air a few times. It was good to end the night with laughter, Shane reasoned. Since he was the one who made it overly emotional. </p><p>He pulled the covers up close to her, the thickness of them already beginning to lull her to sleep before Shane could turn off the lights. “What about you?” she asked him while yawning, making the question sound adorably distorted. </p><p>“Eh, I think video games are calling my name. I’ll play something and then sleep. I’ll make sure the TV brightness won’t wake you, okay?”</p><p>Jas gave a silent nod, looking at the ultrasound again before placing it under the pillow-Shane’s pillow-and snuggled deeper into the bed. It was before Shane had even gone to turn on the TV that Jas’ soft snoring filled the room, and from the glow of the game’s main menu he looked over at her again. He couldn't help it, just absolutely amazed at how small she was and yet how much of her parents she had. Jas was Jas, but every now and then she'd do something that would cause him to double take because that was exactly what Rebecca or Jackson would say or do or think or dress. </p><p>She was a wonder, that's for sure. A genuine legend in the shattered remains of Shane's family. </p><p>
  <em> “Painful?” He had asked Rebecca, leaning against the railing of the hospital bed as the new mom cuddled a bundled Jas close.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “On a scale from one to ten, with ten being ‘I want death before doing this again’? A three,” she tiredly answered without even looking up at Shane. She hadn’t been able to break away from looking at the baby in her arms, and for the first time since he'd been at her wedding, Shane saw Becca begin to cry. “ I really made this. I made her and pushed her out! Did you see the way she stopped crying when she was in my arms? The way she moved her head when Jack started talking to her? Shane, even when she heard your voice she jolted! She REMEMBERS you! I..and I..I’m..” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Intimacy was uncomfortable for Shane, but he knew the words entirely meant for Shane. It was said out loud in stunning disbelief. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Was she worth it?” he asked her softly, Jackson coming back into the room and gently taking Jas into his own arms (he’d been crying too, but Shane’s seen him cry PLENTY of times). It wasn’t a douchey question like a rude relative or distant friend would ask, but of genuine curiosity. Childbirth was supposed to be more painful than anything else in the entire world.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He’ll never forget Rebecca’s tear-filled gaze from Shane to Jackson and Jas, her own little family. “If Yoba is real,” she laughed at Shane’s scoff and eye-roll, “then they’ve deemed me worthy of something incredible. When she opened her eyes to look up at me, Shane, I swear to god I felt like I had the strength to deck the nurse. I..” she wiped the tears off her face. “She’s already a bright light for us. If Yoba made her, then he, she, they, <span class="u">whatever</span>, is in love with Jackson and I. I’ve found a new sense of hope.” </em>
</p><p>“Hope.” Shane echoed the words softly, brushing the hair out of Jas’s face and holding back a chuckle at the goofy grin she gave in response. Making sure the volume was set down low, he tried to turn back to his game but couldn’t help but occasionally glance back to check on Jas and each time he did, his mind just kept wandering. She was so small. She trusted him. She cared about him and wanted him to protect her. She felt safe with him. </p><p>He knew he wasn’t worthy of being a parent, let alone a parent to her, but damn. </p><p>She gave him something close to hope. That had to mean <em>something. </em></p><p>
  <em> “<strong>GAME OVER.</strong>” </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>EDIT: word of advice-if you stay up late writing this after having not slept in 48 hours, and decide 'fuck it, who needs to edit their work', it's time to close the laptop down and go to sleep, good GOD hopefully I fixed some of the mistakes, sorry</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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